Today stuff went down.

I will start off with saying that even though I know I am lucky where I am at, I am not very happy with my family. Jay and Meagan are very strict and come up with the most ridiculous punishments. One time I got grounded for a week for leaving a pair of socks on my floor and another week for leaving one taco bell wrapper in the car by the garbage.

I will start off with today and get into a rhythm. This morning, I woke up at my cousin's house about 20 minutes away from mine. I woke up with a big 80 pound dog licking my face. I got up, looked around and saw that it was 8:30 ish. I got up, went to the restroom and sat in a chair. Fast forward a few hours and now I am with my cousin Sean watching MIB3 (decent movie by the way). Fast forward a few more hours and now I am down at work. I walk home 3 miles afterwards. When I get home, I see Meagan sitting on the couch doing homework. We talk about our day and when I try and go to take a shower, she tells me to go do the dishes, make dinner and do some yard work. I look at the dishes and feel slightly sad about the giant pile of dishes. I shuffle towards the bathroom and take a shower.

I get out, get dressed and start to clean my room. I see that someone went and searched through my laptop bag and pulled out my mouse. The contents are strewn all over my bed and room. Now I am kind of angry, because why would someone go into my room, and search through my things and not bother to leave a note, or put it back? I don't know. I go out to the kitchen and start the dishes. Once I am almost done, my mother comes in and turns on the oven for me. She is saying that oh we have a good family and all that jazz. She goes in to tickle me and I put up my hands saying, "No no no no. Please don't tickle me." She gets all offended and says, "well, Jay can do that to you!" I say, "I hate being tickled." She gets all huffy and starts banging things around and says, "Wow, that's cool. You are such an asshole. Fuck you." I block the rest of it out, trying to comprehend what she just said to me. She has said this many a time in the past, but it never struck me like this. She storms away out of the kitchen. I continue making the dinner at this point and throw it in the oven. I go out to throw the tarp on the wood scraps in the back yard when Jay is out there. I ask to talk and explained what just happened. He was smiling until I explained the F-U part. He looks at me and talks to her. She says that I pushed her and that we were just playing. I deny pushing her and they both look at me disbelievingly. I go into my room and start my homework. Meagan comes in later and says that she apologizes for swearing as long as I apologize for pushing and yelling. I didn't apologize. (This is the first time I stood up for myself after 17 years of this). I said that I didn't push her and I didn't yell. I only raised my voice a little just so she would stop. She calls me a liar, and then says, "hahahaha well I didn't swear at you then!" (while she points and laughs at me and walks away). I say, "well that is mature" under my breath. I continue my homework and text my friend. She is someone I can trust with anything. She was the one who suggested writing a blog. I am very angry and very depressed. Not a good combo from what I hear. I am not happy in this household and I haven't been for a long time. I always think that I would rather be at school than at home. I have no privacy and I am writing this pretending to be doing homework. I am using this to vent my feelings, because if I do it openly at home, I will be in more trouble then I already am in. Thank you friend, if you are reading this, I thank you for your support.